Wise Words from a wise Woman

During my daily Facebook check I came across an enlightening post and instantly wanted to share it with my followers. I love being able to share others personal insights on social media but this post sparked something new in me. Why don’t I start sharing these insights on my website for anyone to see? So I shared my opinions of this lovely post and asked for permission.

“Beautifully written Sheri Hawkins šŸ’—šŸ’—. I feel as if you just enlightened me further to that “thing” that causes procrastination. I also practice logical awareness over emotion as often as possible but the way you went into detail about how to see the block and overcome it, I just love it. Thank you for sharing this šŸ’—. With your permission I would love to share your words of wisdom & strength with my followers šŸ˜”

As you can guess, she said yes. Before posting though I just want to let you know I am going to make a habit of this. I am going to continue to amplify voices in my community by creating blog posts like this one. So, if you know someone ( or yourself) in Niagara, Ont that you think has a voice or a piece I need to share to amplify the heck out of it for them please comment or shoot me an email JennyCrumb@outlook.com and incase it isn’t obvious I am a very inclusive individual and am a huge ally for the LGBTQ+ community, BIPOC community, voices spreading Mental Health, Addiction, Recovery, & Support education, Sustainability & Climate Change Activists and more. It would be my pleasure to give them ( or you) a platform to amplify your voice from Niagara to the world (the internet world anyway šŸ˜‰)

Without further ado, meet my friend and fellow ally of all things Niagara & inclusivity ( no seriously she runs @MainlyNiagara ) Sheri Hawkins. She shares many amazing stories and supports Niagara with her full heart while also on her own emotional mental health journey. I hope you also find wisdom is this post she shared with friends on facebook (and now with you šŸ’—šŸ˜)

“in August of 2018, I met a man who would profoundly and dramatically change my life. Over the past two years, Bill Banham has taught me some of my life’s most valuable lessons, including the importance of exerting control over one’s emotions.

This particular quote, I received at a time when I was sitting in a room interacting with a woman who had been able to mentally dominate me by successfully manipulating my emotions. I was on the verge of having a panic attack and was about to leave the room when this message from Bill popped up on my phone.

As a person who has always worn her emotions on her sleeve, the concept of “sitting back and observing things with logic” was a foreign concept to me. But the moment I actively chose to shift my focus from how I was “feeling” to what I was “logically observing”, my entire perspective shifted. I could see the manipulation tactics being used against me so clearly that I actually found it funny. I also felt a bit sad for her, that she had to resort to such obvious tactics to keep me under her thumb.

I have learned many powerful lessons in the time since, but this was the first BIG one that was not only easy to execute, but the internal shift, and the requisite reward of being able to see things clearly, was immediate.

I have always admired people who mastered control of their emotions. Up until that moment, I thought it was an inherent trait as opposed to a practiced skill. But it is entirely possible for anyone to learn how to do this, and I’m telling you, if you can learn it for yourself, your life will dramatically change. You will be able to see a situation for exactly what it is, without allowing your emotions to cloud your judgment.

I relearn this lesson on a regular basis, and in multiple different scenarios. I have been screwing up pretty hard this week. My computer crashed multiple times and I haven’t had access to my new one. I’ve been locked out of my phone, then I dropped it and damaged it (again). I lost a USB memory stick, it was just one thing after the other. Within three days, I had gotten so behind on stuff and I had become so anxious about it, to the point that I began creating my own chaos. I was forgetting to send emails, I was missing appointments; I was accidentally deleting voicemails; I was up late at night stressing about everything I wasn’t getting done and then sleeping through my morning alarm. My anxiety was literally creating my problems, to the point where I was crippling myself from taking the necessary steps to move forward.

In the midst of all this self-doubt and self-created chaos, I found myself in a highly volatile situation, where my knee-jerk reaction was to get angry. My anxiety was already out of control, it would’ve been very easy for anxiety to escalate into anger. But instead, I took a step back and “observed things with logic”. Once I moved outside of my fear, I could see things exactly for what they were. My anger was replaced with empathy, even compassion, because I understood the source of all of the conflict I was witnessing was based primarily on one thing: FEAR.

Fear causes us to use poor judgment and pits us against, not just our enemies, but our allies. We fear not being heard, not being valued or validated; feeling betrayed, being perceived as a nuisance or a burden; being resented, being misunderstood, to name a few.

At the core of each of us as human beings is a desire to be seen, not just for who we are, but who we want to be. By me not meeting my deadlines this week, I feared being perceived as lazy, unreliable, undisciplined, etc. And because that’s where my focus and energy was, I literally became the thing I feared the most. I would’ve had a much easier time of it, had I stepped back and “observed things with logic” by acknowledging that yes, although there were some things outside of my control, I could’ve significantly mitigated the damage if I’d shifted my focus on to immediately dealing with what was inside my sphere of control instead of letting my emotions (in this case “fear”) stop me from moving forward.

This quote has seriously changed my life. Literally every time I have put it into practice, I have sharper focus and metal acuity; I make better, clearer decisions, I speak my words carefully and intentionally, and I am able to recognize the truth in every situation. Of course I am human and I still act like a dummy once in awhile, but I’ve done this enough times to know that it works.

My final thought is this: The concept of “just breathing and allowing things to pass” may seem overly simplistic, but it really is that easy. No matter how bad things are, or how bleak a situation may seem, just step back and take a breath. Every moment, both good and bad, is finite. The sooner you can move on from those difficult moments, the more time you can spend enjoying the good ones.

Thanks for reading. Much love to all. Goodnight. <3″

-Sheri Hawkins

The quote Sheri is referring to is this one:

“You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.”

-Warren Buffett

I hope you enjoyed this post! Be sure to check back often or follow me on social media for new amplified voices of Niagara šŸ˜

-Jenny Crumb

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